CAMP CROOKSTON. I mean, there should be an entire blog about Camp Crookston. Not an entry, an entire blog. But alas, I am having a hard time maintaining one blog, so someone else will have to make that one. The Crookston Moment nominees for today and yesterday are...
1. The Camp Crookston talent show. Paige taught everyone how to bow in proper Korean style, There was a trumpet/trombone duet, a community guitar sing-a-long, and even a ballad about Camp Crookston written by yours truly. The prize ($10) went to Taylor, for his amazing horse jumping skills. Hooray for Taylor!
2. Taylor's Camp Crookston shirt. On the front it says, "Camp Crookston 2009." On the back it says, "Lah-dee-fricken dah. Be excited or you will be eaten by the fox." I simply love to watch the Camp Crookston dynamic around here. Basically Mrs. Crookston and the cousins love it, and the Crookston siblings loathe it but act happy because if they don't they will be slain by their overzealous mother. Do not mess with her. YOU MUST LOVE CAMP CROOKSTON!
3. Yesterday, Carly and I went out, *ahem* "wedding shopping." Allow me to note that neither one of us is engaged. At all. Not even a little bit (can you be a little bit engaged?). I didn't want to pretend to be a bride, so Carly put my promise ring on her left hand and pretended to be getting married. We talked to people at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, David's Bridal, and Joanne's Fabrics about her "wedding." She answered all questions without a moment's hesitation - it was actually kind of freaky... She's marrying Jack Webb next May. He just graduated from GVSU with a degree in Chemical Engineering. She's not having a flower girl, but she and her mom are going to Chicago to look at wedding gowns next week. I tried very hard to be a good fake maid of honor and not burst out laughing...it was tough a few times. She didn't treat her maid of honor very well, though - she told me to braid myself a headband with her wedding colors and wear it every day until the wedding. She also told me that if I made one more bad suggestion, I was fired as maid of honor. I shall remember this treatment, Carly!!!! (the people at the stores were sympathetic to my plight - I know it).
4. Taylor is weird about pets - I am not sure why this has not made it onto this blog before. He will be playing with Cindy and say something like, "Ooooh, you're so cute! I just want to squeeze you until your eyes pop out!" Whaaaaaaaat? He said that about a puppy at Drue's graduation party. I sometimes wonder how he feels about people...will he secretly squeeze my eyes out in my sleep one of these days? We shall see. Only time will tell.
5. Taylor, Carly, and I were watching a show on TLC called, Say Yes to the Dress. Basically, it's a show about brides who go and try on wedding dresses. Kind of a dumb premise for a show if you ask me. Anyway, it got to the part where the bride came out and showed the dress to all of her friends and family, and she started crying. Carly said, "Oh my gosh. That is so dumb. Why would anyone cry at something like that? Christine, you better not cry when you try on your wedding dress, or I will punch you. That is so weird." She then turned to me and said, "Oh my gosh, you're actually crying!" I was. At a TLC show. FML.
6. I was looking up experiments to do with my Kitchen Chemistry class. First of all, we tried to make fireball bubbles. That was an epic failure. I went to go research more things and realized that I needed rubbing alcohol. I looked up from the laptop and said to the girls in the bedroom, "Do you guys have any alcohol?" Shelby and her friend Lizzie looked up, pleasantly shocked, and Shelby was like, "Yeah..." to which I realized my mistake and said, "Uh, no. Rubbing alcohol for a science experiement." Ha ha...
The winner for today is...#3. I just don't know anyone other than Carly who would do something like that. It was hilarious. Maybe one day in the far off future, on the chance that I do get engaged, I'll just hand over the ring and let her pose as me for the entire engagement and then just show up for the wedding and see what she did. I like this plan. I'm sure Rex would be really excited about me saying, "Thanks for the ring. Here you go, Carly. Go nuts." *sigh* Alas, it was a fun game for a while anyway. Shelby said that next time she gets to be the bride.
CAMP CROOKSTON DAY 2 TOMORROW - STAY TUNED
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Day 20
I have GROSSLY neglected this blog - I deserve to be tarred and feathered. I apologize to all who follow it. Unfortunately, a combination of a busy life and fitting in with the Crookstons to the point where they seem less weird has caused the downfall of my diligence. I really need to keep it up, though. Perhaps I should have a rededication ceremony with this blog: "I, Christine, take you, this blog, to write in as often as possible so as to record the events that happen at the Crookston household and not forget them ever, until death parts me and you or until I move out of this house, whichever comes first."
Okay, glad that's taken care of.
The Crookston Moment nominees for the past few days are:
1. I played volleyball at 1:30 in the morning with Taylor and three of his friends. The ground was cold and wet, and the ball kept slipping through our fingers. Taylor decided we needed more players, so he drove down the street and picked up his friend who snuck out of her house to play volleyball. I never did anything like that - perhaps I need to live on the edge more.
2. While hanging out in Carly and Shelby's room, Shelby spontaneously broke out into humming "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas." This family is crazy about Christmas. Mrs. Crookston watches It's a Wonderful Life in the summer, there is a picture of a snowman outside my bedroom, and there are ice skates by the front door. Umm...it's June, Crookstons. Perhaps you didn't get the memo - Santa's not watching right now because he's on vacation. You don't need to up the spirit until November, and you'll still get perfectly fine presents.
3. Carly completely hijacked this baby named Isaiah. She said that he is so cute, and if she has a kid like him she's going to have seven. Otherwise, she's giving her kid back. I'm not sure exactly how that would work, so let's all just hope that Carly's future children are cute.
4. Taylor and I had a long conversation about when it is okay for someone to kill themselves. My answer was never, but Taylor had all of these fictional instances when he said it might be okay. Let's just hope he never finds himself friendless and weighed down by the guilt of killing hundreds of people in the Nazi genocide of the Jews. The world would miss you, Tay Tay.
5. After riding Taylor's horse Wrigley, the Crookston's grandparents brought us all Blizzards from Dairy Queen. This is a good Crookston moment because it combines all of the elements of living here: farm life, heavy emphasis on family, and good food.
6. Did I mention Beyonce the toad's new friend? I don't think I did. When we (Taylor and I) went to go visit Beyonce the toad, we found that she was hanging out with the CUTEST little gray field mouse. We have decided to name her Rhianna.
7. Mrs. Crookston's ducks died. :-( This is sad, and not in and of itself a good Crookston moment. The Crookston moment is when I got a voicemail at work that said something along the lines of, "Christine? Is Rex coming over tonight? I mean, could you please ask Rex if he would come over tonight? Because I have this gun, and I want him to kill something." She is still seeking vengence on whatever ended the lives of her feathered friends.
8. Carly just called Eric in my room. Here is the literal voicemail: "Schmuggly Bear, this is Carly. I can't find my phone so I'm on Taylor's. Call me back. Love love love. *kiss* *kiss* *kiss* la la la." WOW...
9. Carly's grandparents decided to play the newlywed game with Carly and I, and she did surprisingly well. She correctly guessed a few (least favorite teacher at KAMSC, pizza or steak, favorite animal, favorite musical, etc.). YAY Carly.
10. TAYLOR - STOP DISSING MY DRESSES! I CAN HEAR YOU IN HERE! I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A MOTHER OF THREE IN THAT! >:-0 Take it back, or we are no longer friends.
11. Carly went on theknot.com to show me an average wedding timeline. She was on a site that was 380 days from "Carly and Elijah's" wedding. I asked "Who's Carly and Elijah?" before realizing that Carly had created a personal website and timeline for her wedding to Elijah Wood. Good luck with that, my friend. Good luck.
12. Carly, Shelby, and I each chose two words to describe our future weddings. Mine: joyful, romantic. Carly's: glamorous, celebratory. Shelby's: classy, sparkly. I can't wait to see how they actually turn out.
Okay, I'm going to be done now since I need to work on my lesson plans for tomorrow's Kitchen Chemistry class. Plus, Carly is pacing around my bedroom in her underwear waiting for me to be done writing so we can talk (not joking). The Crookston Moment today is....#3. I like hearing Carly's future plans. They're almost always so...imaginative and unconventional? Yes, we will go with that.
Okay, glad that's taken care of.
The Crookston Moment nominees for the past few days are:
1. I played volleyball at 1:30 in the morning with Taylor and three of his friends. The ground was cold and wet, and the ball kept slipping through our fingers. Taylor decided we needed more players, so he drove down the street and picked up his friend who snuck out of her house to play volleyball. I never did anything like that - perhaps I need to live on the edge more.
2. While hanging out in Carly and Shelby's room, Shelby spontaneously broke out into humming "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas." This family is crazy about Christmas. Mrs. Crookston watches It's a Wonderful Life in the summer, there is a picture of a snowman outside my bedroom, and there are ice skates by the front door. Umm...it's June, Crookstons. Perhaps you didn't get the memo - Santa's not watching right now because he's on vacation. You don't need to up the spirit until November, and you'll still get perfectly fine presents.
3. Carly completely hijacked this baby named Isaiah. She said that he is so cute, and if she has a kid like him she's going to have seven. Otherwise, she's giving her kid back. I'm not sure exactly how that would work, so let's all just hope that Carly's future children are cute.
4. Taylor and I had a long conversation about when it is okay for someone to kill themselves. My answer was never, but Taylor had all of these fictional instances when he said it might be okay. Let's just hope he never finds himself friendless and weighed down by the guilt of killing hundreds of people in the Nazi genocide of the Jews. The world would miss you, Tay Tay.
5. After riding Taylor's horse Wrigley, the Crookston's grandparents brought us all Blizzards from Dairy Queen. This is a good Crookston moment because it combines all of the elements of living here: farm life, heavy emphasis on family, and good food.
6. Did I mention Beyonce the toad's new friend? I don't think I did. When we (Taylor and I) went to go visit Beyonce the toad, we found that she was hanging out with the CUTEST little gray field mouse. We have decided to name her Rhianna.
7. Mrs. Crookston's ducks died. :-( This is sad, and not in and of itself a good Crookston moment. The Crookston moment is when I got a voicemail at work that said something along the lines of, "Christine? Is Rex coming over tonight? I mean, could you please ask Rex if he would come over tonight? Because I have this gun, and I want him to kill something." She is still seeking vengence on whatever ended the lives of her feathered friends.
8. Carly just called Eric in my room. Here is the literal voicemail: "Schmuggly Bear, this is Carly. I can't find my phone so I'm on Taylor's. Call me back. Love love love. *kiss* *kiss* *kiss* la la la." WOW...
9. Carly's grandparents decided to play the newlywed game with Carly and I, and she did surprisingly well. She correctly guessed a few (least favorite teacher at KAMSC, pizza or steak, favorite animal, favorite musical, etc.). YAY Carly.
10. TAYLOR - STOP DISSING MY DRESSES! I CAN HEAR YOU IN HERE! I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A MOTHER OF THREE IN THAT! >:-0 Take it back, or we are no longer friends.
11. Carly went on theknot.com to show me an average wedding timeline. She was on a site that was 380 days from "Carly and Elijah's" wedding. I asked "Who's Carly and Elijah?" before realizing that Carly had created a personal website and timeline for her wedding to Elijah Wood. Good luck with that, my friend. Good luck.
12. Carly, Shelby, and I each chose two words to describe our future weddings. Mine: joyful, romantic. Carly's: glamorous, celebratory. Shelby's: classy, sparkly. I can't wait to see how they actually turn out.
Okay, I'm going to be done now since I need to work on my lesson plans for tomorrow's Kitchen Chemistry class. Plus, Carly is pacing around my bedroom in her underwear waiting for me to be done writing so we can talk (not joking). The Crookston Moment today is....#3. I like hearing Carly's future plans. They're almost always so...imaginative and unconventional? Yes, we will go with that.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Day 15
I CAN STAY!!! Break out the champagne! Throw some confetti! Let's have a parade! Hire a clown!
I am very happy that the parents Crookston have decided to let me stay for the summer. This is exciting - for me and for you, the blog observer.
Unfortunately, because I was at work today and then came back and slept, ate chicken fajitas (delicious), and then went to ice cream with my dad, I spent almost ZERO time with the Crookstons. Therefore a "Crookston Moment of the Day" is not really feasible today. Sorry, guys! I will resume posting moments of the day as soon as I am once again able to observe your weirdness.
I am very happy that the parents Crookston have decided to let me stay for the summer. This is exciting - for me and for you, the blog observer.
Unfortunately, because I was at work today and then came back and slept, ate chicken fajitas (delicious), and then went to ice cream with my dad, I spent almost ZERO time with the Crookstons. Therefore a "Crookston Moment of the Day" is not really feasible today. Sorry, guys! I will resume posting moments of the day as soon as I am once again able to observe your weirdness.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Day 14
DAY 14! The two week trail period is up! I did not get a chance to talk to Mr. or Mrs. Crookston yet, though, so the jury's still out on if I passed and get to stay here or not. Until a more definitive decision is made, though, THE BLOG LIVES.
The nominees for today are:
1. Mr. Crookston was complaining about all of the money he spends on Taylor and his horses, but then someone (Taylor's teacher? Horse friend? I don't know) said, "When Jesus comes back He's going to be riding a white horse, and me and Taylor are going to be riding with Him but you're just going to fall off."
2. Mrs. Crookston literally kicked me in the butt today for not telling her what I was doing after work. I was told by the siblings Crookston that this treatment is commonplace. CALL CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES!!!
3. Rex and I invited Carly, Shelby, and Taylor to go to Dairy Queen with us. Carly and Shelby opted not to go since they didn't want to "completely ruin their workout." I asked Taylor if he wanted to go, and Rex said, "What, you invite Taylor on our dates now?" to which Taylor replied, "Um, I believe she invited you on our date." Okay, Taylor, we went to Qdoba ONCE. It was not a date. And, if you want to go on a date with me, I expect more than SPLITTING CHIPS next time, okay? Okay. Thanks. Much love.
4. Taylor makes Cindy be a bear and also a fat rat. This is cute - I wish I could adequately portray it on this blog. He's catching up to me on creepy weird rat love, but he's still got a ways to go.
Today's winner is....#1. It mixes perfectly the religious yet farm focused attitude that lies among these family dynamics. Hopefully I'm still living here tomorrow....
The nominees for today are:
1. Mr. Crookston was complaining about all of the money he spends on Taylor and his horses, but then someone (Taylor's teacher? Horse friend? I don't know) said, "When Jesus comes back He's going to be riding a white horse, and me and Taylor are going to be riding with Him but you're just going to fall off."
2. Mrs. Crookston literally kicked me in the butt today for not telling her what I was doing after work. I was told by the siblings Crookston that this treatment is commonplace. CALL CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES!!!
3. Rex and I invited Carly, Shelby, and Taylor to go to Dairy Queen with us. Carly and Shelby opted not to go since they didn't want to "completely ruin their workout." I asked Taylor if he wanted to go, and Rex said, "What, you invite Taylor on our dates now?" to which Taylor replied, "Um, I believe she invited you on our date." Okay, Taylor, we went to Qdoba ONCE. It was not a date. And, if you want to go on a date with me, I expect more than SPLITTING CHIPS next time, okay? Okay. Thanks. Much love.
4. Taylor makes Cindy be a bear and also a fat rat. This is cute - I wish I could adequately portray it on this blog. He's catching up to me on creepy weird rat love, but he's still got a ways to go.
Today's winner is....#1. It mixes perfectly the religious yet farm focused attitude that lies among these family dynamics. Hopefully I'm still living here tomorrow....
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Day 13
Happy Father's Day! Today was a good day of family and fun. Only one more day until my "two-week-probation" period is up. Wouldn't it be a drag if the parents Crookston decided to kick me out and then I had nothing else to write in this blog? *GASP* Oh I shall NOT let this happen. Anyway, the nominees for today are...
1. At Texas Corral for a Father's Day lunch, I ordered water with no ice. Drue leaned across the seat and said disgustedly, "No ice?" Then Taylor got excited and said, "Look, Christine, two more words that he said to you!" It is true that Drue and I never speak. I had to record this latest exchange in my blog - I will treasure it always.
2. Again at Texas Corral, Taylor stole crayons from the hostess station so that he could color a kids menu (which was also stolen from the hostess station). He enjoyed writing the "F" word on the menu and then coloring over it with crayons so that no one would notice, but I DID notice. Taylor, you are a PROFANE little man, and I do not apprecite you defacing what should be a fun kids' activity menu. For SHAME.
3. Carly completed her grueling three-hour work week at Victoria's Secret today. I'm considering signing her up for a clinic on how to destress and become less of a workaholic.
4. This one is about ME! I am putting myself in a Crookston moment of the day! I went home to see my family for Father's Day. This was fun. My family and I were talking, and I was telling a story about something. My Dad started to interrupt me when I held up my hand and said (in a very Carly/Shelby/Taylor snarky fashion), "Um, excuse me? I wasn't done." My family looked at me for a moment and then I said, "Oh, yeah, can you tell I'm living with the Crookston's yet?" They can. I am turning into one of THEM!!!!! Terrifying.
I'm going to say that #1 wins today simply because the chances of Drue ever appearing in this blog again are very slim. I should definitely let him win while he's in here.
1. At Texas Corral for a Father's Day lunch, I ordered water with no ice. Drue leaned across the seat and said disgustedly, "No ice?" Then Taylor got excited and said, "Look, Christine, two more words that he said to you!" It is true that Drue and I never speak. I had to record this latest exchange in my blog - I will treasure it always.
2. Again at Texas Corral, Taylor stole crayons from the hostess station so that he could color a kids menu (which was also stolen from the hostess station). He enjoyed writing the "F" word on the menu and then coloring over it with crayons so that no one would notice, but I DID notice. Taylor, you are a PROFANE little man, and I do not apprecite you defacing what should be a fun kids' activity menu. For SHAME.
3. Carly completed her grueling three-hour work week at Victoria's Secret today. I'm considering signing her up for a clinic on how to destress and become less of a workaholic.
4. This one is about ME! I am putting myself in a Crookston moment of the day! I went home to see my family for Father's Day. This was fun. My family and I were talking, and I was telling a story about something. My Dad started to interrupt me when I held up my hand and said (in a very Carly/Shelby/Taylor snarky fashion), "Um, excuse me? I wasn't done." My family looked at me for a moment and then I said, "Oh, yeah, can you tell I'm living with the Crookston's yet?" They can. I am turning into one of THEM!!!!! Terrifying.
I'm going to say that #1 wins today simply because the chances of Drue ever appearing in this blog again are very slim. I should definitely let him win while he's in here.
Day 12
Okay, I realize this post is a day late. Sorry, followers of this blog (Carly and Taylor). Here are the nominees for Day 12:
1. There is a toad living under the horses' water tub. It's name is Beyonce, after Mrs. Crookston's butt (she claims they have similar derrieres). Though Carly may disagree with this naming choice, she was overruled and now it is online so it is official.
2. When I said that I hate the movie Return to Me, Mrs. Crookston said, "What do you hate about that movie?! There's nothing in that movie to hate! You hate things like The Matrix, not Return to Me!!"
3. Carly and Taylor have kissed. More specifically, Taylor kissed Carly. He kissed his sister - ewwwwww. I wonder if it felt like a tied game - I have heard these feelings are similar.
4. Carly shared a fantastic story about Drue coming in and borrowing a bra so that he could practice unlatching the back of one while making out with his girlfriend. He put the bra around a pillow and laid on her bed, hugging the pillow, while trying to undo the bra. I'm sorry, but why do guys find this so challenging? Good thing they don't have to wear bras or they would be trapped forever since they can't seem to get them off.
5. Mrs. Crookston has a barrel of "fertilizer" brewing. It's made mostly of horse crap. She goes and stirrs it and looks like a weird farmy witch brewing a magical plant-boosting potion.
6. While the content of said conversation is not fit to print on this blog, Carly, Taylor, and I stayed up until past 2:00 playing the "secret game" where everyone goes around and tells secrets. Most of them were just dumb, and then Carly practically fell asleep and the party had to end because we were all in her room.
And the Crookston Moment of the day is....#6. Staying up late and doing things that will never be relevant to life is very commonplace, even expected here. It's actually pretty fun - how have I not discovered this before?
1. There is a toad living under the horses' water tub. It's name is Beyonce, after Mrs. Crookston's butt (she claims they have similar derrieres). Though Carly may disagree with this naming choice, she was overruled and now it is online so it is official.
2. When I said that I hate the movie Return to Me, Mrs. Crookston said, "What do you hate about that movie?! There's nothing in that movie to hate! You hate things like The Matrix, not Return to Me!!"
3. Carly and Taylor have kissed. More specifically, Taylor kissed Carly. He kissed his sister - ewwwwww. I wonder if it felt like a tied game - I have heard these feelings are similar.
4. Carly shared a fantastic story about Drue coming in and borrowing a bra so that he could practice unlatching the back of one while making out with his girlfriend. He put the bra around a pillow and laid on her bed, hugging the pillow, while trying to undo the bra. I'm sorry, but why do guys find this so challenging? Good thing they don't have to wear bras or they would be trapped forever since they can't seem to get them off.
5. Mrs. Crookston has a barrel of "fertilizer" brewing. It's made mostly of horse crap. She goes and stirrs it and looks like a weird farmy witch brewing a magical plant-boosting potion.
6. While the content of said conversation is not fit to print on this blog, Carly, Taylor, and I stayed up until past 2:00 playing the "secret game" where everyone goes around and tells secrets. Most of them were just dumb, and then Carly practically fell asleep and the party had to end because we were all in her room.
And the Crookston Moment of the day is....#6. Staying up late and doing things that will never be relevant to life is very commonplace, even expected here. It's actually pretty fun - how have I not discovered this before?
Friday, June 19, 2009
Day 11
Today there are no nominees for Crookston moment of the day. It isn't because nothing note-worthy happened, but rather because this one Crookston moment just beat everything else by so much that no other moments from today are even worth nominating. It just completely dominated. The 100%, winner-by-far Crookston moment of the day is...
Taylor and I decided to go to Qdoba and split some chips and guacamole because we can't afford anything else. He decided to drive the van, and he didn't want to leave his lemonade at home so he brought it with him. I must note that he was drinking his lemonade from a wine glass, complete with ice and a lemon garnish on the side. He got in the van and put his wine glass of lemonade in the cupholder. Seriously. Then, we began driving this gigantic van down the road, and Taylor heard the song "Redneck Woman" come on over the radio. He rolled down the windows and blasted the music while singing along (loudly) and sipping his wine-glass lemonade. I'm so glad this wasn't white-trash-esque or anything. I just...I mean...I don't even have some witty commentary to go with this. What can I say? There are no words. Congrats, Taylor, you definitely win today.
Taylor and I decided to go to Qdoba and split some chips and guacamole because we can't afford anything else. He decided to drive the van, and he didn't want to leave his lemonade at home so he brought it with him. I must note that he was drinking his lemonade from a wine glass, complete with ice and a lemon garnish on the side. He got in the van and put his wine glass of lemonade in the cupholder. Seriously. Then, we began driving this gigantic van down the road, and Taylor heard the song "Redneck Woman" come on over the radio. He rolled down the windows and blasted the music while singing along (loudly) and sipping his wine-glass lemonade. I'm so glad this wasn't white-trash-esque or anything. I just...I mean...I don't even have some witty commentary to go with this. What can I say? There are no words. Congrats, Taylor, you definitely win today.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Day 10
Day 10 - Double digits! How much longer will it be until this family stops doing things worthy of a blog? I have no idea. It's going to be a while. The nominees for today are:
1. Mrs. Crookston saying, "Good morning, Christine. I am just waiting for the farrier, he should be here any minute. It's like a pedicurist, but for horses." So, what can I major in to get that job, please?
2. Mr. Crookston hunted flies all day with this ridiculous looking flyswatter that is about as big as a tennis racket. He said he got it as a joke or something, but it's very effective in covering a wide surface area to kill the flies. FLIES BEWARE - you should stay outside.
3. Taylor told me that he's going to start being weird on purpose just so he can win "Crookston Moment of the Day."
4. Carly appeared in my room wearing ripped jeans, a bright blue spaghetti strap shirt with a black sheer shirt overtop of it and huge tealish looking earrings with some sort of snowflake pattern on them. Her hair was down and poofy. She then said, "Be straight with me, Christine. Do I look like a slut from 1983?" She didn't. It was very much more 1987-88, but definitely yes to the slut portion.
5. I sat for literally a half hour and listened to Mrs. Crookston tell stories today. Don't get me wrong - I love listening to her stories. It's just...well, they seemed kind of random. There was one about a time when she tape recorded her professor just because fetus Drue would move around whenever he heard the professor's voice, and then there was one about the time she drank half a bottle of wine in Napa while visiting friends only to discover that it was really expensive, and then another monologue about what she wants to be called when she's a grandmother (Nana's too weird, Grandma's too old, Mimi's out because there's only one Mimi, Honey would be kind of cute...). These stories somehow flowed to each other with little to no input from me, and suddenly she stops mid sentence and goes, "Whoa. My stories are really long, aren't they?"
6. I observed Carly doing a dramatic sing along while watching Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. She wasn't aware she was being watched, and she looked like a five year old who was acting out the entire show by themselves.
7. I brought up a box of laundry to do today. Apparently Mrs. Crookston read my last blogpost, because she came upstairs and said, "Oh, is this your box of things to burn?" I said, "Um, NO, Mrs. Crookston, these are my actual clothes." How embarrassing...she thinks I should burn my clothes. Well, I think she should burn that crazy feather shirt that Carly found last week, so THERE.
There's really no clear winner today. I suppose I'll go with number 5 since it took me the longest to type. Great reasoning, I know. Hey - this is MY blog. Don't judge.
****EDIT***** Taylor just got home from going out with his friends, and these moments simply must be added to the list for today. Actually, I'm just going to summarize a couple of conversations for you because that will work best.
C: Uh, Taylor? Is that nail polish on your toe?
T: *nervous laugh* Yeah, but I mean, it's only on one toe. Oh, and on my leg. But like, just a little bit though.
(later, when we are looking at facebook pictures)
C: So this is the girl you like?
T: Yes, she's beautiful.
C: Does she know that you like her?
T: Well, no. I mean, I tell her, but she doesn't really get it.
C: What do you mean?
T: Like, in Chemistry she said, "Why can't I hear the teacher?" and I said, "Why can't you hear the murmurs of my heart?" and I say things like, "I'm so in love with you." She says that if I actually was, I wouldn't have told her, so it doesn't exactly work.
C: Oh, I see...clever.
1. Mrs. Crookston saying, "Good morning, Christine. I am just waiting for the farrier, he should be here any minute. It's like a pedicurist, but for horses." So, what can I major in to get that job, please?
2. Mr. Crookston hunted flies all day with this ridiculous looking flyswatter that is about as big as a tennis racket. He said he got it as a joke or something, but it's very effective in covering a wide surface area to kill the flies. FLIES BEWARE - you should stay outside.
3. Taylor told me that he's going to start being weird on purpose just so he can win "Crookston Moment of the Day."
4. Carly appeared in my room wearing ripped jeans, a bright blue spaghetti strap shirt with a black sheer shirt overtop of it and huge tealish looking earrings with some sort of snowflake pattern on them. Her hair was down and poofy. She then said, "Be straight with me, Christine. Do I look like a slut from 1983?" She didn't. It was very much more 1987-88, but definitely yes to the slut portion.
5. I sat for literally a half hour and listened to Mrs. Crookston tell stories today. Don't get me wrong - I love listening to her stories. It's just...well, they seemed kind of random. There was one about a time when she tape recorded her professor just because fetus Drue would move around whenever he heard the professor's voice, and then there was one about the time she drank half a bottle of wine in Napa while visiting friends only to discover that it was really expensive, and then another monologue about what she wants to be called when she's a grandmother (Nana's too weird, Grandma's too old, Mimi's out because there's only one Mimi, Honey would be kind of cute...). These stories somehow flowed to each other with little to no input from me, and suddenly she stops mid sentence and goes, "Whoa. My stories are really long, aren't they?"
6. I observed Carly doing a dramatic sing along while watching Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. She wasn't aware she was being watched, and she looked like a five year old who was acting out the entire show by themselves.
7. I brought up a box of laundry to do today. Apparently Mrs. Crookston read my last blogpost, because she came upstairs and said, "Oh, is this your box of things to burn?" I said, "Um, NO, Mrs. Crookston, these are my actual clothes." How embarrassing...she thinks I should burn my clothes. Well, I think she should burn that crazy feather shirt that Carly found last week, so THERE.
There's really no clear winner today. I suppose I'll go with number 5 since it took me the longest to type. Great reasoning, I know. Hey - this is MY blog. Don't judge.
****EDIT***** Taylor just got home from going out with his friends, and these moments simply must be added to the list for today. Actually, I'm just going to summarize a couple of conversations for you because that will work best.
C: Uh, Taylor? Is that nail polish on your toe?
T: *nervous laugh* Yeah, but I mean, it's only on one toe. Oh, and on my leg. But like, just a little bit though.
(later, when we are looking at facebook pictures)
C: So this is the girl you like?
T: Yes, she's beautiful.
C: Does she know that you like her?
T: Well, no. I mean, I tell her, but she doesn't really get it.
C: What do you mean?
T: Like, in Chemistry she said, "Why can't I hear the teacher?" and I said, "Why can't you hear the murmurs of my heart?" and I say things like, "I'm so in love with you." She says that if I actually was, I wouldn't have told her, so it doesn't exactly work.
C: Oh, I see...clever.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Day 9
Well, it's still the morning, but I'm at work and have a second to record a couple of today's nominees so far:
1. This actually happened yesterday, but it's going on today's list. Taylor asked me where my house is, and I told him. He was all surprised and said, "Oh, I thought you lived downtown. I always pictured your house as dark and, like, gaunt." Um...thanks Tay. You make me feel like I live in a faimly of vampires.
2. This morning I walked through the kitchen on my way to work when I saw Shelby, sipping her coffee completely topless. I said, "Um, hey Shelby," to which she replied, "Well I was doing laundry but wanted to wash my shirt, and I figured - why wait until next week?" She was engaging in the trademarked "Crookston boob hold," where she sort of gathers up her boobs in her hand to be a little less scandalous than if she just let them hang loose and stare at the world.
I will be back with more moments when I get home from work, I assure you.
***EDIT*** Okay, I must finish the Crookston Moments for Day 9, even though technically now is day 10. I was too busy observing Crookston craziness to update this blog, so I shall do so now.
3. Carly said I was a bit anti-feminist for answering "bake him cookies" to all guy problems that exist. We decided it would be fun to pretend to be super-feminist, so instead of throwing away our old bras we have decided to have a bra-burning party. It has not taken place yet, but rest assured that when it does it will DEFINITELY make an appearance on this blog.
4. Shelby and Carly did a beautiful duet to "Colors of the Wind" from Pocahontas. It was complete with interpretive dancing and "mother bear noises" from Carly. Love it.
5. Shelby, Carly, and I found ourselves in the dark with our faces all up against the "glowing orb" (Paige's sparkle ball illuminated by blue light) trying to see into our future (oh, and by the way, it didn't work. It just inspired Shelby to watch Space Jam).
6. Ask Carly about the "dancing three-way." Go ahead, do it.
7. Carly made a huge confession to me, hardly fit to print in this blog. I, however, am doing it anyway *evil laugh.* She guiltily showed me a treasured childrens novel and admitted that it is from the library and ten years overdue. She also said that she's now afraid to ever go into any branch of KPL for fear that they might have some "blood sensor" and say, "There's the one! SHE stole that book!!!"
And the Cookston moment of the day is...#2. This family is unusually comfortable with their bodies, and this sort of scenario surfaces more frequently than one might imagine.
1. This actually happened yesterday, but it's going on today's list. Taylor asked me where my house is, and I told him. He was all surprised and said, "Oh, I thought you lived downtown. I always pictured your house as dark and, like, gaunt." Um...thanks Tay. You make me feel like I live in a faimly of vampires.
2. This morning I walked through the kitchen on my way to work when I saw Shelby, sipping her coffee completely topless. I said, "Um, hey Shelby," to which she replied, "Well I was doing laundry but wanted to wash my shirt, and I figured - why wait until next week?" She was engaging in the trademarked "Crookston boob hold," where she sort of gathers up her boobs in her hand to be a little less scandalous than if she just let them hang loose and stare at the world.
I will be back with more moments when I get home from work, I assure you.
***EDIT*** Okay, I must finish the Crookston Moments for Day 9, even though technically now is day 10. I was too busy observing Crookston craziness to update this blog, so I shall do so now.
3. Carly said I was a bit anti-feminist for answering "bake him cookies" to all guy problems that exist. We decided it would be fun to pretend to be super-feminist, so instead of throwing away our old bras we have decided to have a bra-burning party. It has not taken place yet, but rest assured that when it does it will DEFINITELY make an appearance on this blog.
4. Shelby and Carly did a beautiful duet to "Colors of the Wind" from Pocahontas. It was complete with interpretive dancing and "mother bear noises" from Carly. Love it.
5. Shelby, Carly, and I found ourselves in the dark with our faces all up against the "glowing orb" (Paige's sparkle ball illuminated by blue light) trying to see into our future (oh, and by the way, it didn't work. It just inspired Shelby to watch Space Jam).
6. Ask Carly about the "dancing three-way." Go ahead, do it.
7. Carly made a huge confession to me, hardly fit to print in this blog. I, however, am doing it anyway *evil laugh.* She guiltily showed me a treasured childrens novel and admitted that it is from the library and ten years overdue. She also said that she's now afraid to ever go into any branch of KPL for fear that they might have some "blood sensor" and say, "There's the one! SHE stole that book!!!"
And the Cookston moment of the day is...#2. This family is unusually comfortable with their bodies, and this sort of scenario surfaces more frequently than one might imagine.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Day 8
Really, not that much happened today. I don't have many nominees... Here's what I've got:
1. Carly, Shelby and I woke up early (around 8-8:30) to go to Victoria's Secret to be the first at their Semi-Annual Sale. I've never been at the mall before the stores open, but I was today! We stocked up on loads of good, girly stuff. Shelby and Carly got matching bras - how cute. Shelby also got a swimsuit that "does not work for swimming."
2. Taylor likes to army crawl around the kitchen. Why? I have no idea. He did it twice today. The second time, Rex jumped on him and "Taylor Surfed" across the kitchen. This is classic.
3.I found another new, profound sign in their house today. It says, "A nice place to live." Yes, yes it is. Good thing there is a sign there to assure any doubters.
4. Taylor and I made Cindy into a sparkly poof ball. She looked super cute and then proceeded to sneeze a lot.
5. Rex, Taylor, Shelby, and I decided to look around the room and decide how many different things could be used to kill people. We debated whether or not a bra could be used to strangle someone, so as a demonstration Rex tried to strangle me with a bra. Shelby chimed in, "Put it over her eyes - she'll look like a bug!" Awesome...he did.
6. This only sort of has to do with the Crookstons, but I am including it. I decided to give Rex a tour of the farm, and I got to the horses and was like, "This is Sammy, and, um, I swear there were two other ones somewhere...not sure how I can't find them...maybe they're just misplaced." Yes, they misplaced their HORSES, you know, cuz that's so easy to do and all. GAH. Stupid me.
Wow, I had more than I thought. See what I mean? Weirdness around here doesn't phase me anymore. Sometimes I don't even remember it until I really sit down and think. Anyway, the winner today is....#1. I don't know anyone else who would wake up that early to go bra shopping. YAY.
****EDIT*****I must add: I just finished trying to chase chickens off of the chicken coop with Taylor at 11:30 at night in the rain. I feel that deserves a spot here.
1. Carly, Shelby and I woke up early (around 8-8:30) to go to Victoria's Secret to be the first at their Semi-Annual Sale. I've never been at the mall before the stores open, but I was today! We stocked up on loads of good, girly stuff. Shelby and Carly got matching bras - how cute. Shelby also got a swimsuit that "does not work for swimming."
2. Taylor likes to army crawl around the kitchen. Why? I have no idea. He did it twice today. The second time, Rex jumped on him and "Taylor Surfed" across the kitchen. This is classic.
3.I found another new, profound sign in their house today. It says, "A nice place to live." Yes, yes it is. Good thing there is a sign there to assure any doubters.
4. Taylor and I made Cindy into a sparkly poof ball. She looked super cute and then proceeded to sneeze a lot.
5. Rex, Taylor, Shelby, and I decided to look around the room and decide how many different things could be used to kill people. We debated whether or not a bra could be used to strangle someone, so as a demonstration Rex tried to strangle me with a bra. Shelby chimed in, "Put it over her eyes - she'll look like a bug!" Awesome...he did.
6. This only sort of has to do with the Crookstons, but I am including it. I decided to give Rex a tour of the farm, and I got to the horses and was like, "This is Sammy, and, um, I swear there were two other ones somewhere...not sure how I can't find them...maybe they're just misplaced." Yes, they misplaced their HORSES, you know, cuz that's so easy to do and all. GAH. Stupid me.
Wow, I had more than I thought. See what I mean? Weirdness around here doesn't phase me anymore. Sometimes I don't even remember it until I really sit down and think. Anyway, the winner today is....#1. I don't know anyone else who would wake up that early to go bra shopping. YAY.
****EDIT*****I must add: I just finished trying to chase chickens off of the chicken coop with Taylor at 11:30 at night in the rain. I feel that deserves a spot here.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Day 7
Well, this blog has been outed to the Crookston family (or the Crookston siblings, anyway). Now I feel kind of goofy about writing it because someone will actually read it (HI GUYS). Oh, well. I must soldier on and continue recording the events of this house, because it would be a tragedy for me to forget them. The Crookston Moment nominees for today are...
1. A moment - not a specific thing but a moment, you know? I was sweeping the porch while looking at the goats and listening to the ducks quack and I realized that I am living on a farm. An actual farm. But then I considered the bright gold eyeliner I had just borrowed from Carly and the seemingly endless pile of InStyle magazines in her closet. It's like, I'm living on a high fashion farm. I would have thought that was an oxymoron, but it exists - I swear. This was an odd realization for me.
2. Taylor let Cindy ride his horse. She hated it, but it was just about the funniest thing ever.
3. Shelby had some friends over, and Carly decided to measure all of their bra sizes for practice at her new VS job. Taylor looked on to learn as well, as if he'll ever need this is life. You WON'T, Taylor!
4. Mrs. Crookston has a crazy amount of signs in her house. Like, I think one of these days I will dedicate a post to just wandering around the house and writing down all of the signs that she has. A few I remember off the top of my head are: "H Home" "Farm Sweet Farm" "Home is where your story begins" "God Bless Cowgirls" "Home of the free because of the brave" and "Riding lessons this way." I have to say, though, that I discovered one today that 100% convinced me that Mrs. Crookston has gone overboard with her signs. It says, "Welcome to the porch." Um....?! Like, just in case I was feeling uncomfortable, good thing she put that sign there so I could know I was welcome on her porch. Otherwise it would have just seemed hostile.
5. Carly tried to discuss the hottness of celebrities with her nine year old cousin. The cousin, needless to say, was not interested and proceeded to discuss the size of her guinea pig's poo. (I used that word for you, Carly)
6. Taylor, upon reading yesterday's post, decided to explain yesterday's #1, saying something along these lines: "Christine, I only walked into the room in my underwear because when you walked by my door I was sitting on my bed reading with my briefs on and a pillow in my crotch, so it totally looked like I was naked. I was thinking that if you thought I was reading naked on my bed with the door open, that would be totally weird. So I figured I would come out and make sure you knew I actually had clothes on." Good Taylor, thanks for clearing that up.
And the winner for today is...#4. I think this one was a good descriptor of the atmosphere of this house - tidbits of useless wisom everywhere. Plus, the place is so welcoming that they even had to express it on their porch.
1. A moment - not a specific thing but a moment, you know? I was sweeping the porch while looking at the goats and listening to the ducks quack and I realized that I am living on a farm. An actual farm. But then I considered the bright gold eyeliner I had just borrowed from Carly and the seemingly endless pile of InStyle magazines in her closet. It's like, I'm living on a high fashion farm. I would have thought that was an oxymoron, but it exists - I swear. This was an odd realization for me.
2. Taylor let Cindy ride his horse. She hated it, but it was just about the funniest thing ever.
3. Shelby had some friends over, and Carly decided to measure all of their bra sizes for practice at her new VS job. Taylor looked on to learn as well, as if he'll ever need this is life. You WON'T, Taylor!
4. Mrs. Crookston has a crazy amount of signs in her house. Like, I think one of these days I will dedicate a post to just wandering around the house and writing down all of the signs that she has. A few I remember off the top of my head are: "H Home" "Farm Sweet Farm" "Home is where your story begins" "God Bless Cowgirls" "Home of the free because of the brave" and "Riding lessons this way." I have to say, though, that I discovered one today that 100% convinced me that Mrs. Crookston has gone overboard with her signs. It says, "Welcome to the porch." Um....?! Like, just in case I was feeling uncomfortable, good thing she put that sign there so I could know I was welcome on her porch. Otherwise it would have just seemed hostile.
5. Carly tried to discuss the hottness of celebrities with her nine year old cousin. The cousin, needless to say, was not interested and proceeded to discuss the size of her guinea pig's poo. (I used that word for you, Carly)
6. Taylor, upon reading yesterday's post, decided to explain yesterday's #1, saying something along these lines: "Christine, I only walked into the room in my underwear because when you walked by my door I was sitting on my bed reading with my briefs on and a pillow in my crotch, so it totally looked like I was naked. I was thinking that if you thought I was reading naked on my bed with the door open, that would be totally weird. So I figured I would come out and make sure you knew I actually had clothes on." Good Taylor, thanks for clearing that up.
And the winner for today is...#4. I think this one was a good descriptor of the atmosphere of this house - tidbits of useless wisom everywhere. Plus, the place is so welcoming that they even had to express it on their porch.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Day 6
I spent a minimal amount of time at the Crookston's today since I spent the day in Lansing with Rex. We had a great time going to our old church and wandering around campus like the good ol' days (only 2 months till I move back to school!). Still, even with the few hours I spent here I have a few nominees for "Crookston Moment of the Day."
1. When I got home, I went upstairs to visit Cindy. Taylor walks in wearing only underwear and is like, "Hi, Christine. I wasn't sure if you were you or Shelby, but you didn't look like Shelby so I figured it was you. Wanna watch a movie?" To which I said, "Which movie?" Taylor said, "Hold on, I'll go put some pants on and we can talk." Ha ha...
2. Shelby told me a story of how she ran around church all morning searching for a ruler so that she could measure whether or not her arm was actually one cubit long. Not finding one, she used the paper cutter in the mail room that had a ruler on the side. She was happy to report that her forearm is, in fact, one cubit long. GOOD, Shelby - we were all concerned.
3. Taylor said, "Christine, did you wake up, oh, around four in the morning last night?" (No, I didn't) "Good. Because I snuck out and went to go TP some people and then my friends and I came in the basement door and had pizza and ice cream and I was just wondering if we woke you up."
4. Shelby and Carly relayed the story to me that Taylor licked their dog's nasty tongue today. He said it was an accident, and that he almost barfed because he could only think of "the fact that she licks her butthole." I'm not entirely sure how one goes about accidentally french kissing a small white poofy dog (or any dog, or any person for that matter), but apparently he did. Um...EW.
5. Shelby told this story: "I have this friend Nick. His Dad's really hot. His name is Geno. Anyway, last night I had a dream that Geno told me that he liked me, and I was so blissfully happy that I decided to willfully stop breathing because my life was perfect."
Hmm...this is hard...I'm not sure which moment should win today. I guess #5, just because...well...only a Crookston girl would have a dream about her friend's hot dad. This is weird.
1. When I got home, I went upstairs to visit Cindy. Taylor walks in wearing only underwear and is like, "Hi, Christine. I wasn't sure if you were you or Shelby, but you didn't look like Shelby so I figured it was you. Wanna watch a movie?" To which I said, "Which movie?" Taylor said, "Hold on, I'll go put some pants on and we can talk." Ha ha...
2. Shelby told me a story of how she ran around church all morning searching for a ruler so that she could measure whether or not her arm was actually one cubit long. Not finding one, she used the paper cutter in the mail room that had a ruler on the side. She was happy to report that her forearm is, in fact, one cubit long. GOOD, Shelby - we were all concerned.
3. Taylor said, "Christine, did you wake up, oh, around four in the morning last night?" (No, I didn't) "Good. Because I snuck out and went to go TP some people and then my friends and I came in the basement door and had pizza and ice cream and I was just wondering if we woke you up."
4. Shelby and Carly relayed the story to me that Taylor licked their dog's nasty tongue today. He said it was an accident, and that he almost barfed because he could only think of "the fact that she licks her butthole." I'm not entirely sure how one goes about accidentally french kissing a small white poofy dog (or any dog, or any person for that matter), but apparently he did. Um...EW.
5. Shelby told this story: "I have this friend Nick. His Dad's really hot. His name is Geno. Anyway, last night I had a dream that Geno told me that he liked me, and I was so blissfully happy that I decided to willfully stop breathing because my life was perfect."
Hmm...this is hard...I'm not sure which moment should win today. I guess #5, just because...well...only a Crookston girl would have a dream about her friend's hot dad. This is weird.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Because living here cannot remain undocumented...
Living with the Crookstons is...fantastically insane. I mean, I really cannot do the experience justice by simply talking about it. I think everyone should have to live with this family for a week just to see what they're like. They're awesome, hilarious, kind, hospitable, and quirkier than most other families (I can't say quirkier than all other families because, well, look at mine).
Anyway, it is now day five of my life as a quasi-Crookston. Already I am starting to forget some of the antics that go on here on a daily basis because there are so many of them. They are beginning to seem commonplace. That's why I have begun this blog, to record the best "Crookston Moment" of each day that I am here. I will nominate the top...however many moments, and then I will pick the best one. For example, the nominees for today are:
1. Mrs. Crookston greeting me with, "Good morning, Christine. Tell me, where else on Earth can you be woken up by ducks quacking outside your window?!"
2. Taylor saying, "Who's silver flip flops are these?" I replied with "mine." He replied with, "Oh, you would like to THINK so, wouldn't you?"
3. Carly dancing on her countertop singing "Hooked on a feeling" at the top of her lungs.
4. Shelby discussing her heroin-addict looking arms after a horrible day trying to give blood ending in her passing out in some nurses' arms.
5. Meeting their Aunt Debbie. When I was introduced, I said, "Nice to meet you," to which she replied, "Oh, I haven't met you, but I have met Cindy!" She met my pet rat before me. Nice.
6. Taylor saying, "Christine!! I have EIGHT facebook notifications! I am soooo popular..."
That's good for today, I suppose. I'd have to say that the winning Crookston moment is....*drumroll please*....#3. I mean, it's just so typical of these family members. They're deliciously psycho. I am so glad to be living here. :-)
Anyway, it is now day five of my life as a quasi-Crookston. Already I am starting to forget some of the antics that go on here on a daily basis because there are so many of them. They are beginning to seem commonplace. That's why I have begun this blog, to record the best "Crookston Moment" of each day that I am here. I will nominate the top...however many moments, and then I will pick the best one. For example, the nominees for today are:
1. Mrs. Crookston greeting me with, "Good morning, Christine. Tell me, where else on Earth can you be woken up by ducks quacking outside your window?!"
2. Taylor saying, "Who's silver flip flops are these?" I replied with "mine." He replied with, "Oh, you would like to THINK so, wouldn't you?"
3. Carly dancing on her countertop singing "Hooked on a feeling" at the top of her lungs.
4. Shelby discussing her heroin-addict looking arms after a horrible day trying to give blood ending in her passing out in some nurses' arms.
5. Meeting their Aunt Debbie. When I was introduced, I said, "Nice to meet you," to which she replied, "Oh, I haven't met you, but I have met Cindy!" She met my pet rat before me. Nice.
6. Taylor saying, "Christine!! I have EIGHT facebook notifications! I am soooo popular..."
That's good for today, I suppose. I'd have to say that the winning Crookston moment is....*drumroll please*....#3. I mean, it's just so typical of these family members. They're deliciously psycho. I am so glad to be living here. :-)
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